Much of our wounding occurs prior to the acquisition of language and is not able to be healed through the questioning and reorganization of patterns of thinking. In other words, we can’t think our way out of trauma, attachment, and narcissistic injury…
Encouragement to “just get over it, it’s just your ego, just let it be, it isn’t who you really are” is experienced by an inflamed nervous system as the activity of empathic failure, aggression, and psychic violence.
When the lost orphans of psyche and soma come surging to be held, they’re not all that interested in our crystal-clear analysis, detached witnessing and fantasies of “mastery,” or powerful spiritual insights.
They’re longing for something else… for you, for your heart, for your holding. To know that you will stay near, that you will not abandon or shame them, that you will do your best to provide sanctuary and safe passage for them to come Home, to be helped out of that frozen, crystallized state and to live once again.
— Matt Licata
We become mirror-hungry when we didn’t have parents who saw us as the Divine Child and adored us.
Our mind, body, inner child becomes chronically hungry for the experience of being the “apple of one’s eye” — that hole in the soul, in the psyche turns into a permanent posterboard in our psyche’s self-concept…until we enter, unwilling or willing, the process of initiation, of psychological transformation.
Surviving as an outcast requires being strong enough to stand alone, trusting in one’s own individual truth.
— Marion Woodman
Children need the affirmation that they are indeed a divine child, and they feel insulted at anything less. Sensing, as only children can do that one’s parents do not have that regard, that vision of one’s appearance in the world, is a wound that instills both doubt and anger. We then go forward to create the same story in the next generation, and not only that, we create a sense of abandonment in nature and abroad in the world. Having to prove our worth to the world is so common we think it’s a basic instinct.