Someone Who Can Really See Us

Zdzislaw Jasinski

And if you lived with me, I’d leave you letters under the pillow. I know you don’t like loneliness and you also like reading. That will help you with both.

~ Jaime Sabines, Letters to Chepita.

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Humans need validation in order to grow. If we didn’t get it early, we need to find it later. But it can’t be just any ole’ validation. It has to be authentic validation. Ideally, we can do it ourselves, but that’s not always possible. Often, we need it from someone else — someone who can really see us. Someone who loves us for who we really are. If we don’t get that, we often end up trapped inside of an artificial validation cycle — something sadly rewarded in this inauthentic culture.

We look for it in the audience, in the projections, in the transactions. But it doesn’t work. Because they are validating our presentation — not the soul that lives below it. 5 minutes of authentic validation will do more to empower us than 5 decades of artificial validation. It’s the moment of contact that changes everything.

~ Jeff Brown

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Many people want to get rid of their painful feelings, but not of the beliefs and viewpoints that are the very root of their feelings.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh