THE FARFELU TIMES

It was the best of times.

Farfelu- From French: eccentric, original.

She desperately needed help, and I was almost a big enough person to help her, but I was head over heels for her, which made it painful. She had a punitive husband, three young children, exhaustion almost past the point of return, and no understanding of how she contributed to and kept the situation going right up to the point of death. She was an unusually attractive young woman married to a football hero who had a host of psychological problems that no one knew about.

It was a difficult and rocky start but we eventually made it work.

I had to grow into it. I’m not a paterfamilias type, which might have been more to her taste, but I mutated in that direction, forming a real family relation to those kids, who don’t remember when they didn’t know me. At this point, we’ve been together for thirty-five years and we’ve all evolved. I confess that I almost gave up waiting for her to fall in love with me, but now the question is moot. I expect to die one day still in love and still married to her.

Her ex asked her a few years ago what was the secret of our long term marriage. She said very simply, kindness; it’s kindness. Kindness, regardless what righteous demands you think you must satisfy in a fraught moment. Kindness, by foregoing the cutting…