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Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Love without forgiveness is an adolescent illusion. It’s a romantic idea minus the mistakes and transgressions that even the kindest, most well intentioned people manage to commit. We guess wrong a lot when we’re dealing with others. It takes great presence of mind, great sensitivity to what’s happening in the present moment to notice the energy coming off those close to us.

We need to be continually letting go of the burdens of past wrongs and misunderstandings, even of the actions of those who actually mean us harm. We need to keep ourselves light, clear, unburdened so we can live our fullest expression of who we’re meant to be.

Each of us is plagued by mistaken ideas, misjudgements, illusory enthusiasms, distorted passions at one time or another. The peaceful ecstacy we suspect is possible in life always seems somehow to elude us. Our drugs, medicines and religious convictions somehow never get us to the promised land.

We hear about exalted beings full of love and wisdom who always seem to have clay feet in the end, yet we keep searching.

Might the illusive sought-after epiphany be closer to home, perhaps in the human heart-mind itself? What if we were to listen to the quality of our own thoughts and feelings? What if we were to explore that particular undiscovered continent, making note of all the flora and fauna we see? What if we were to discover the amazing fact that we cause our own misery, that not perceiving who and what we in fact are is our own tripwire, our self constructed pitfall.

Do we want that much responsibility? It’s so much more pleasant to think our misfortunes are caused by evil others, who should damn well know better. We ourselves are blameless, of course.

We support ourselves with belief systems, with like minded associates and organizations, shoring us up in case we doubt ourselves. Questions are disruptive, unwelcome. What we want is assertions, not questions. We want to talk about rules and punishments, not love.

Is it any wonder all the avatars who taught love were crucified?

Forgiveness is the key to the prison we locked ourselves in. We just forgot we kept the key.

I occasionally write fiction and also about creativity, loving, language learning and travel. I’m a longtime painter and reader.

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