Attachment Trauma and Essence of Being

Unknown artist

“I once dreamed of escaping to magical places: Movie sets; fairy kingdoms; lovely homes with lovely people. I wanted to escape the abuses, the taunts, the grinding, onrushing tide of meanness that rolled over me all through my early years. I never got to the magic castle I insisted was deep in the woods, but I escaped through words, through images on a screen. Every day — and you need to remember this — you can sit before the pale judgment and strike words on its surface and escape and rise and find the magical places you wanted. The magical places that are within all of us broken, desperate people.

— Tennessee Williams

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Attachment trauma occurs when parents don’t know the child as a person, meaning there’s little to no engagement or investment in the child’s interesting thoughts, important feelings, or feelings, and rich inner world. Even when responsible caretaking and good parenting are present, the child might still be emotionally ignored. Parents who deny their child relational attunement, send the message, “I might love you but you don’t matter enough to be known.”

Alanrobarge.com

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Every act of rebellion expresses a nostalgia for innocence and an appeal to the essence of being.